Cranky Greg's View

The State of the Dallas Cowboys

The Dallas Cowboys beat the Seattle Seahawks yesterday, 38-17.  And now everyone in Dallas thinks that the Cowboys are on their way to the Super Bowl, even though the Cowboys haven't won a playoff game since December 1996, midway through last century's last decade.

I think people are getting a little ahead of themselves.  So let me rain on everyone's parade on this fine Monday morning with the following facts:

• Jerry Jones still owns the Dallas Cowboys.
• Wade Phillips is still the Cowboys' head coach (in title, anyway).
• The teams that the Cowboys defeated this year all suck, except for Atlanta:
• • Seattle Seahawks are 2-5.
  • Tampa Bay is 0-7.
  • Carolina is 3-4.
  • Kansas City is 1-6.
  • Atlanta is 4-2, but Atlanta played the Cowboys on a short week and the Cowboys had two weeks to prepare for the the Falcons.
  • The combined record of the teams that the Cowboys have defeated this year is:  10-24.

The Cowboys get to play the Eagles next week, in Philly, and the Eagles just beat the hell out of the Giants, who beat Dallas at home earlier this year.  And then, in two weeks, Dallas has the pleasure of playing the Packers in Green Bay.

I will be shocked if the Cowboys can win either game or both games.

In two weeks from today, Cowboys fans will be wondering why the Doughboy is still parading the sidelines, and who is that Austin guy again?

I hope I am wrong!

Mike Leach on Fat Girls

Those Chickenshit Cowboys!

The Dallas Cowboys played the New York Giants tonight in the "Dallas Palace"  ....er...the Cowboys Stadium in Arlington.  And they were defeated by the Giants who were led by Eli Manning, who didn't choke under pressure and throw three interceptions in the biggest party in the land.

The Giants kicked the winning field goal as time expired - but no, WAIT!  Coach Cupcake called a time out one sliver of a second before the foot hit the ball!

Cupcake tried to ice the kicker.  A chickenshit move by a chickenshit coach owned by a chickenshit owner, all of whom are desperate. 

As you would be, too, if you owned and managed a team that hasn't even won a playoff game in over a dozen years.

Jerry Jones has ruined the Dallas Cowboys, but everyone only sees stars now.  If the Cowboys don't play better than this, this stadium won't be setting any attendance records any time soon.

During the first year, people will pay to see Jerry's tribute to obscene opulence, but then his star will eventually fade and the City of Arlington will regret doing business with Mr. Jones.

The only reason anyone even gives a damn about Jerry Jones is because he owns the Cowboys.  Jerry can thank Tom Landry and Tex Schramm for that.  And even Jimmy Johnson.

But since Jimmy left, it's been Jerry's show, with no one to blame but Jerry himself.

As they say, you can put lipstick on a pig, but you still have a pig.

Thoughts on Sports

It's college football season again and it's time for Cranky Greg to get all worked up over the ridiculous and silly college football polls and other such nonsense.

Cranky Greg went to the Fresno St. v. Boise State game Friday night.  As expected, Boise State won the game.  Cranky Greg was pulling for the Bulldogs, but Cranky Greg really loves Boise State.  He loves the way they play the game.  They play to win every game and they take on big teams and don't shrink under pressure.  They belong in the Pac-10, where they would be better than every team except USC, and after USC's embarrassing performance yesterday in Washington, might even be better than USC.  Boise State would never run the ball at the end of the half when out of timeouts and in field goal range.  Chris Petersen is a better coach than Pete Carroll.

Speaking of Pete Carroll at USC, Carroll should stop reading his press clippings and watching the ongoing Pete Carroll Love Fest on ESPN and start worrying about football.  Bill Plaschke has more to say on  this subject.

And the Big 12 South is really where all the action is.  Last night, Texas Tech lost to the Longhorns, but at least Tech didn't get the hell pounded out of them.  QB Taylor Potts looks like a keeper.

Pete Carroll is not the only coach who is guilty of making stupid coaching decisions: Tech pulls within 7 points of the Horns in the 3rd quarter and Tech coach Mike Leach decides to try an onside kick and guess what?  Texas recovered the ball and a couple of plays later were celebrating a touchdown and another 14-point lead!

Underdogs have to position themselves to win, not take stupid gambles and shoot themselves in the foot.  Recovering an onside kick is not a good percentage play, and even if it works, you don't get points - just the ball.  That's the best that could happen.  The worst that could happen is that you give the team with the lead the ball with great field position.  Stupid decision by Coach Leach.  I am sure the folks in Lubbock are gonna be all over Leach this week.

The Oklahoma Sooners must be a miserable bunch after losing to BYU the other day  and then seeing BYU getting simply hammered by an unranked Florida State in BYU's home field in Utah!!

The Sooners can salvage their season by beating Texas in a couple of weeks.

Texas Tech v. Texas

Cowboys Win!

There's Bees in Them Bleachers!!

Fans of Satan's team, the Los Angeles Dodgers, were attacked by a bunch of bees sent by God to torment the devil worshipers at Dodger Stadium today.

Couldn't have happened to a nicer bunch of people.

But this is only the beginning.  Locusts and Swine Flu are to follow.

Stay Away from Dodger Stadium!

20th Anniversary of Nolan Ryan's 5000th Strikeout

It was twenty years ago tonight that Nolan Ryan got his 5000th strikeout.  Cranky Greg remembers that night very well, even though he wasn't at the game.  Cranky was in Sacramento in law school, and was sitting in his car that evening waiting for Community Property class, listening to the Oakland A's broadcast, hoping to hear it before class started.  Well, it happened about 5 minutes before class.  Now, Cranky Greg's not a big Nolan Ryan fan, because he believes that Nolan Ryan is a little overrated.  But it is amazing Nolan had that many strikeouts, and it's hard to believe it was twenty years ago.

It's Getting Ugly for the Texas Rangers

Randy Galloway paints a bleak picture for the Texas Rangers, who are surprisingly good this year, even if they coughed up an ugly hairball last night.

Cranky Greg had no idea the finances were so bad for Tom Hicks and that MLB was basically financing the Rangers, and the issue with the Rangers' first round draft pick that was not signed and who is going to TCU.

What about all that revenue that the Ballpark in Arlington, which the citizens of Arlington help pay for?  That was supposed to end all money problems for the Rangers.

Oh well.  Maybe the Rangers can succeed on the field this year and be a Cinderella and get into the playoffs.  Maybe that will entice some investors in a shaky economy to invest in a shaky franchise.

Favre the Pest

Former Green Bay Packer quarterback Brett Favre is coming out of retirement again and this time he is going to the Packers' rivals, the Minnesota Vikings.

It's very difficult to find anyone more annoying than Brett Favre.  He retires every year and just when sports fans think they've finally gotten rid of this pest, he signs with another team.  So now football fans all across the fruited plain have to put up with glowing adulation from the talking heads at ESPN and elsewhere.

Brett Favre is not a good quarterback.  Especially the last few years.  He can run around and throw interceptions, and that's great, if you're a fan of the team doin' the intercepting.

It's true that Favre won a Super Bowl, but even a blind squirrel finds an acorn every once in a while.  Does Favre really compare to Joe Montana?  Troy Aikman?  Tom Brady?

Cranky Greg can't stand this Huckleberry, and it's going to be a painful football season for CG having to put up with more endless highlights of Huckleberry's interceptions.

Don't bother sending CG e-mails about how stupid he is for dissing "the greatest quarterback of all time."  Cranky Greg has already adjusted his spam filter.